We've Moved!

Hello everyone! Sorry for my absence, but I've moved my website to a different domain!

http://www.warrior-mothers.com

All the information from this website has been transferred there, so come join us! We have some very exciting things kicking off, a new guest writer (my husband), a social (next friday), a special needs sports program, a good reason to write your senator and much much more!

Feel free to drop this from your readers once you put the new site on your reader!

Glasses!!!

A couple of weeks ago Caleb started to complain about severe headaches. Why would a five year old have a migraine?!? The doctor diagnosed him with a sinus infection and wrote him a prescription, adding that I should give him a Coke the next time it starts to really bother him. But my gut told me that wasn’t the whole story. I had mentioned the possibility of Caleb needing glasses, to which the Dr. politely assured me that if he was learning to read, he probably didn’t need to have an eye exam. He said that if I really thought it was necessary, the nurse could do a pre-screening. Yes Please!!!

The nurse said his right eye was 20/20. But when checking the left eye, Caleb was just guessing. He said the shape was airplane when it was a circle! After the exam, the doctor came back and said ‘You should really go get his eyes checked.’ (I told you, Mama knows best!!!). Costco does eye examinations for $50, so we head straight there. The kids love Costco anyway.

It’s important for Caleb (and autistic children in general) to be mentally prepared for change. Chances of a happy transition are very slim without major effort. In fact, I had been hyping up how lucky he was to see an Optometrist so much that Kylie, his little sister, was getting jealous of Caleb’s eye exam. Excitedly, he did everything the Optometrist told him to do. Of course his left eye was bad but the full eye exam revealed that his right eye was also impaired. He was working so hard to focus, it’s no wonder he was having migraines!

Yesterday was the big day when I picked-up his glasses. As soon as he put them on he said, “Mom, wow you’re big!” and “Hey the T.V.’s bigger too!” This made me curious as to how bad his eyes really are so I tried looking through them and everything got really blurry (I have 20/20 vision). I’m still shocked about how bad his eyes are. Caleb really is such a smart little boy, I’m amazed at how good he is with letters, reading and spelling considering how bad his eyes have been.

Parents, I want to encourage you to follow your instinct. You are the Mother, Father, Parent or Guardian of this beloved child. You have a right to inspiration concerning your child that the doctor or any other professional doesn’t have. Sometimes they will listen to you right away, other times you may actually have to go to a few different doctors, but don’t give up if you feel something needs to be done.

It's the little things that count

I find this true in so many ways! A great necklace can really make an outfit or a hug from a child can brighten your day. Children with special needs depend on these little things even more. Their day is crowded with confusing change, growth, challenges and frustration.

So having things they can count on everyday really matters to them. Like a story before bed or how you cut their sandwich. When things these children have come to depend on are different, they can lose it.

Today when Caleb, my son on the autism spectrum, pulled up on his bus he melted down. Most of the time (not all the time) he's the last one to be dropped off. Well today he wasn't. So I had to go and peel a crying 5 year old off the bus and carry him into the house where he continued to insist that he needed to get back on the bus and wait for his turn. Thankfully, an hour later he calmed down.

I know many parents try to keep routines for their children with special needs and I do to, to an extent. But I also change things up quite a bit to try and help him learn to cope with change in a controlled environment. These efforts have made a very noticeable difference in how Caleb copes with events that don't fit his concept of "right." So for the most part we're okay when things come up but then days like today remind me that he does have his own little things that I don't even realize that are important to him. Like being last one off the bus.

Welcome to Holland

by Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

ACPCG

This organization does some amazing work: The American Child Photographers Charity Guild.

Their work is not specifically purposed for helping children with special needs but what they do is amazing and I just had to post about it. They volunteer their time for families with a child or other family member who is terminally ill and take pictures for the family. They even work in the NICU for a premature babies or wherever that family can and wants to go. I spent almost an hour crying while looking at pictures they had taken. These are photographers that are exceptional. I just wish I known about them years ago when my nephew had cancerous tumor the size my fist in his chest at 3 months old. Against the odds, my nephew recovered and we're celebrating his 2 year remission mark soon. Yet so many stories do not have such happy endings. What a blessing having professional quality pictures with these loved ones must be for these families.

LDS Disabilities Web Site

I just discovered this web site and I LOVE it! It provides information to primary teachers and church leaders who are teaching people with disabilities and it shows how in tune the leaders of the LDS church are with what is going on in the world today in this field. After being a Primary teacher for years myself, I have had student children with Autism, Learning Disabilities and ADD. These kids can at times be real challenge, but through really loving them and having really good lesson plans they not only behave better and learn but enjoy it too. The resources on this site also include helps for the family members of someone with special needs. This site is a great starting point and it has many links you can follow to other very good sites for resources.

You can get to this site via this link.

VIP Special Needs Sports

This program is awesome! I found out about it through a friend of a friend at the end of the soccer season. Caleb (my son) went to the last three games and LOVED IT! For only $15 dollars that's right the total cost for you is only $15 dollars for the entire season. AMAZING!

Sports are a wonderful growth experience for your child who might not otherwise get to play sports in a conducive environment. The program provides a 'buddy' for each child so they can really learn skills of the game without being intimidated.

You also get a jersey and a picture of your child. Caleb really likes the blue soccer socks they issued him. Like I said totally worth it for the price. It is however in Mapelton, UT. For my family that's about a 45 min. drive each way but the experience is really very irreplaceable and we are totally doing it again for basketball season. We have 5 other kids from our neighborhood also going (one is in a wheelchair so really anyone can go). Can't wait for it to start at 10a.m. January 23 and runs through the end of February. Checkout their blog to find out more www.specialneedssports.blogspot.com or call Keri at 801-489-4904.